Neurolinguistic Programming


Counselling skills goals assumes that clients are the vast majority of ordinary people with many problems,many people function reasonably well,some not.Counsellers assist clients to help themselves.They use counselling skills to develop client?s capacity to use their human potential both now and in future.
Attending involves giving all of your physical attention to another person.The process of attending has a considerable impact on the quality of communication that goes on between two people.By attending we are saying to another person ?I am interested in what you have to say?.
Attending physically
Attending cluster consists of following skills.
1) A posture of involvement
Body can be used as a tool to facilitate good communication.A relaxed awareness expressed by body posture seems best suited for fostering good communication.
Bolton ,in his book ?people skills? suggests
· Lean towards the speaker ?communicates energy and attentiveness.
· Face the other squarely (your right shoulder to the speaker?s left) ? communicates your involvement.
· Maintaining an open posture ?important for fostering inter personal relatedness ?closed posture(crossed arms or legs) often communicates coldness and defensiveness.
· Aware of your proximity to the speaker- personal space- when those boundaries are crossed it makes them feel uncomfortable and defensive.Also too much distance communicates aloofness and disconnectedness.
2) Appropriate Body Motion
Body motion is good but it can be over done if you are not careful.The purpose of gesturing when you are listening is to encourage the speaker to continue speaking. This can most easily be done with a periodic head nod. A good listener moves his or her body in response to the speaker.
3) Eye Contact
Good eye contact involves focussing on the speakers face and occasionally shifting the focus to other parts of the body.The key is that the other is aware that they have your attention because your eyes are on them.Good eye contact should seem natural to the other person.But don?t stare them down.This makes you seem anxious and sometimes critical of them.
4) Creating a non destructing environment
It is not possible to move the conversation into a private room or office,but every attempt should made to reduce the number of distractions that are present.
Observing means asking clients about themselves. It involves
· .Ask clients about their reasons for coming.
· Help clients decide what decisions they face.
· Help clients express their feelings,needs ,wants and any doubts ,concerns or talking.
· Keep questions open,simple and brief.
· Look at your client as u speak.
· Ask clients what they want to do.
· Listen actively to what the client says.Follow where the client leads the discussion.
· Show your interest and understanding at all times.
· Express empathy.
· Avoid judgements and opinion.
· Ask for any information needed to complete client record.
Listening Skills
Effective is actually absorbing the information given to you by the speaker, showing that you are listening and interested. Goal of listening is understanding what is trying to be communicated.
1) Door Openers
A door opener is a non coercive invitation to talk. It includes
a) Description on other person?s body language.(ie you don?t look like you are feeling well today)
b) An invitation to talk.
c) Silence .
d) Attending.
2) Infrequent Questions
This trick is to ask questions that are designed to spur the conversation on when it gets struck. This means questioning will be infrequent and not yes or no questions.
3) Attentive Silence
Silence is an opportunity for the speaker to reflect on what he or she has said and to gather their thoughts before their next statement.
This skill also includes maintaining eye contact, maintaining an interested facial expression, nodding, facing the other person, maintaining an open position, keeping a close proximity etc.
An important aspect is to help the listeners to clarify his or her communication. It involves
Reflecting skills
Reflective listening is to serve as a mirror for the person speaking. Reflecting cluster includes
1) Para phrasing
A paraphrase is a concise response to the speaker that restates the essence of communication in the listeners own words.
2) Reflecting feelings
It is mirroring back of the speaker?s emotions as they make their statements. It gives the speaker an opportunity to evaluate how he or she is responding to the problem situation.
3) Reflect meanings
If you get the feelings or the content wrong then you can?t understand the speaker. It allows you to be sure that you are getting what the speaker is saying.
4) Summative reflecting
It recap the major themes of the conversation. It helps the speaker to sort through the litter and to construct a more complete and compact conceptualization of the issue being discussed.
Probing means asking for additional information. Effective probing is non judgemental and flows from what was previously said. Good probing questions ask for elaboration, classification and repetition. It helps client to fill in missing pieces.
On teaching process also counselling skills play a great role which includes developing personal relationship with problem students, reassuring them, monitoring them closely, dealing with their problems in more sustained ways outside the class time, motivate them to talk freely, helping them to develop their insights, developing productive relationships with their parents etc. counselling skills help in attaining all the above.
1. Guidance and Counselling Skills:- Ramesh Chaturvedi.
2. Elementary Guidance and Counselling:- RashmiAgarwal.
4. 91/skills.html.

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Neurolinguistic Programming